The vanity of distance
When I finally left home, I really left it -- for England first, then Germany, then back to England, then Egypt for years before returning to England. For years, many of them pre-email, I was too far away to be a regular participant in the life of my family. I wrote, they wrote. Friends wrote. Sometimes they visited, and sometimes I did. We telephoned once or twice a month. But at the core, I was on my own and happy so. In retrospect, I needed that distance to find my own space in the world.
Now I am back, but not what my mother would call local. A hundred miles away on the same landmass seems like nothing when you've lived across the world, but it's not "hey, come for a cup of coffee" close. I think too that having small children and a husband lost in research has kept my focus very tight, very local. Perhaps that was necessary to find a life here in a new city, among new people, in a new role. But it has not eased the closing of a decade's distance with my family, with my old friends. I have chalked this up to the driving time, how needed I am here, how poor and overtaxed and busy we all are. But it is also simply that I didn't lift my head up far enough to see how close my sisters and family were and how easily that distance could be covered.
Yesterday afternoon, I hopped on the Chinatown Express -- ten dollars and two hours later, I was in Manhattan. I saw my sisters, had dinner, and watched my glorious sister Christina dance:
I was so happy to share wine with my sister Maria, to talk to her face to face, to sit with her and Christina's husband and friends to watch Christina dance, to see my cousin Darren, to be in another part of my world, one that I have mis-held as too far away.
I was in bed, at home, by just past midnight. I am filled with possibilities.
NaNoWriMo thought for the day: No matter how great the Chinatown express is, it is not conducive to writing 1700 words. I did knit part of a sock, though. And like knitting, writing doesn't care when you last wrote. You just pick it up and knit the next stitch, write the next word.
Now I am back, but not what my mother would call local. A hundred miles away on the same landmass seems like nothing when you've lived across the world, but it's not "hey, come for a cup of coffee" close. I think too that having small children and a husband lost in research has kept my focus very tight, very local. Perhaps that was necessary to find a life here in a new city, among new people, in a new role. But it has not eased the closing of a decade's distance with my family, with my old friends. I have chalked this up to the driving time, how needed I am here, how poor and overtaxed and busy we all are. But it is also simply that I didn't lift my head up far enough to see how close my sisters and family were and how easily that distance could be covered.
Yesterday afternoon, I hopped on the Chinatown Express -- ten dollars and two hours later, I was in Manhattan. I saw my sisters, had dinner, and watched my glorious sister Christina dance:
I was so happy to share wine with my sister Maria, to talk to her face to face, to sit with her and Christina's husband and friends to watch Christina dance, to see my cousin Darren, to be in another part of my world, one that I have mis-held as too far away.I was in bed, at home, by just past midnight. I am filled with possibilities.
NaNoWriMo thought for the day: No matter how great the Chinatown express is, it is not conducive to writing 1700 words. I did knit part of a sock, though. And like knitting, writing doesn't care when you last wrote. You just pick it up and knit the next stitch, write the next word.
posted by Francesca Amendolia at 16:33
7 Comments:
Ah, the FungWah bus. Many, many memories of loud Chinese techno and breakneck speeds on the Boston-NYC route. I always got stuck on the "short-bus" and usually on a bench-like back seas.
The only sister of mine who lived in shouting distance just moved to NYC. The rest of our family is in rural Vermont/NH. Close enough to visit as a daytrip, but somehow the distance can feel as great as it did when I was several timezones away.
Oh how awesome. I am so glad you got to go see her dance. Looks like it was amazing.
sounds like a great day - we kind of take the travel thing forgranted and the distance thing too - I always wondered what it would have been like to miles and miles away 100 years ago (guess I would have been quite a letter writer!).
Too cool that you were able to jump on the train and go!! Nothing beats seeing some family!
I love your theory on knitting and writing!
Really lovely post. So pleased you got to see both your sisters. It always amazes me how distance is such a fluid thing - to different people, and at different moments in their lives...
Have a quote on my fridge by Samuel Johnson that says, "Nothing will ever be accomplished if all obstacles must first be overcome." Looks like you just put that in practice! Neat that something that didn't seem possible worked out so well.
What a treat to be able to hop up to NYC and enjoy a little culture, a little wine, and a little family. An even bigger blessing is the bus that takes you back home to your man and the kids. Do it again soon!
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